Arachnophobia filters are downright fashionable, nowadays—though there hasn’t been a one-size-fits-all solution to them. From turning spider-zombies into terrifying floating leeches to going full-tilt crab mode, the solutions are about as scattershot as they are considerate. My least favourite, however, has now surfaced—Capcom has turned Monster Hunter Wilds’ mosquitos into slimes that are… uh. Just take a look.
蜘蛛恐怖症対策モードの方がエロいやないかい‼️うっひょ〜🤤 pic.twitter.com/5PhqXecovtOctober 29, 2024
Lest you think this is somehow people assuming the post’s original author is being misinterpreted based on that emoji—uh, no. As a quick machine translation reveals: “Isn’t the anti-arachnophobia mode more erotic?”
Listen. We’re no strangers to engaging in a bit of salaciousness here at PC Gamer, but I’m typically the first to apply cynicism to the smut-brained imaginings of the internet at large. I like to try and figure out why these things are happening, sure, but my first response is scepticism. And let me tell you: Not today. That slime is 100% humping that person. The prosecution rests.
I can understand the concept Capcom was going with here. The typical spider/mosquito move is to leap on something and bite it to death—it’s what they’re good at—and slimes are, typically, there to absorb and dissolve things a la D&D’s gelatinous cube. But the way this thing undulates makes it clear that it’s, to quote our own Robin Valentine when I shared this in our work Slack, “doing something deeply illicit with that character”.
Over 100,000 people seem to agree this is a very naughty slime based on the post’s likes, which is a huge amount of consensus for a throwaway clip from the Monster Hunter Wilds open beta. It just started two days ago! The 22,000+ quotes are a similar sea of “hear me outs”, including from FF14 Youtuber Pint, who I’ve written about before on this very site, and now only moderately respect less for shattering the world record of Kugane Tower.
If I were a braver person, here’s where I’d explain to the poor and innocent layman that, yes, there is a contingent of the internet that thinks slimes are hot. I’m not going to do that. Instead, I’m going to inform you that the open beta test for this thing’s running until November 3, which will be your last chance to get wet ‘n’ wild with a blob of jelly until the game releases officially February 28, 2025.
